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Author Topic: SPEEDY BK  (Read 31041 times)

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bk

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SPEEDY BK
« on: February 24, 2004, 12:01:11 AM »

Well, you've read the notes, you've made notes on the notes, the notes are noted, and now it is time to post until the cows come home.  But, before you do, here is a sneak peek at Richard Valley's upcoming Scarlet Street review of Kritzerland, which will hopefully whet your appetite for Kritzer Time which, as you've read, is now available for preorder.

"Every now and then a reviewer encounters a book that strikes so close to home that he thinks he’s reading about his own life. This is unfortunate when the book happens to be Les Miserables or Crime and Punishment, but it’s a distinct pleasure when it turns out to be Bruce Kimmel’s Kritzerland (2003), the second volume in his Benjamin Kritzer trilogy.

   Like his brash young hero, Bruce Kimmel was born and raised in California in the 1950s. Author and subject share much in common (including a breezy writing style), which is hardly surprising. What is surprising is the number of times, while reading Kritzerland, that a reviewer sits back and exclaims, “Why, I did that, too!” Preteen Benjamin Kritzer goes to the movies and is annoyed that the other kids aren’t properly respectful of the moviegoing experience. (“Why, I did that, too!”) Benjamin Kritzer attends a personal appearance by The Three Stooges. (“Why, I did that, too!”) Benjamin Kritzer goes to junior high school and hates, loathes, and despises gym class. (“Why, I did that, too!”) Benjamin Kritzer forms a friendship with a chubby kid with whom he performs comedy routines. (“Why, I did that, too!”) Benjamin Kritzer and the chubby kid make their own amateur movies. (“Why, I did that, too!”) Benjamin Kritzer visits Paramount Pictures and the set of LI’L ABNER and . . . (“Okay, I didn’t do that, but I would have if I hadn’t been living in New Jersey!”)

   Kritzerland takes Benjamin from 1958 through the start of the turbulent sixties. Along the way, those who grew up during the same period will encounter some familiar signposts—THE TWILIGHT ZONE, amusement (not theme) parks, “Volare,” “The Purple People Eater,” VERTIGO, VistaVision, Jerry Mahoney, CLUTCH CARGO, QUEEN FOR A DAY, “Put Your Head on My Shoulder,” Fizzies, Flavor Straws, and PSYCHO.
 
   In Kritzerland, Benjamin has more or less made peace with the fact that his family seems to come from Mars and—as indicated by the Bar Mitzvah that brackets the book—is well on his way to becoming a man. If he still pines for the lost Susan Pomeroy of Benjamin Kritzer (2002), he’s not above forming a budding relationship with a new girl in junior high school. And if he again encounters a little childhood heartbreak, he's learned better how to cope with it. Like Daisy Clover singing “You’re Gonna Hear From Me,” he seems poised for great things. Thank God there’s a final chapter of his story yet to come! Meanwhile, Kritzerland is a great place to visit, filled with enduring images and splendid writing."
—Richard Valley
« Last Edit: February 25, 2004, 12:01:29 AM by bk »
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Jrand73

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2004, 02:42:01 AM »

Another list to think about.  Sparkling chat last night!  And DRPanni and Mr BK your photo was the hit of the board!

Off to read the PEYTON PLACE review!

First post.  Huzzah!!
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Lulu

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2004, 03:20:51 AM »

In all fairness re: Peyton Place, somebody does correct the "reviewer" on the stereo issue.  And somebody else goes so far as to write:

Adam- no offense but you must get some background about fifties scope stereo films and how they were done.
One - the film was always stereo.
Two - "dialog was weaker because it was not centered and dirifted left to right"
Yikes!! its supposed to be that way and folows the people wherever they are on screen. Fox scope films were recorded with THREE hanging mikes to capture stereo dialog.
The dvd is correct.

Basically, this "review forum" is just a message board where people write about DVDs they've seen, so hopefully anybody reading the reviews there takes them with the requisite several grains of salt.

TV SHOWS:

LEAVE IT TO BEAVER     (the one where Larry talks the Beav into smoking his dad's Meerschaum pipe, both kids blissfully unaware that the pipe turns browner as it is smoked - not to mention the fact that Mom and Dad can't miss that aroma of burnt coffee grounds.)

SOAP      (the episode where a drunken Burt stumbles into the apartment of his secretary - who's after him - and somehow winds up standing on the coffee table.  His attempts to get down take several minutes and have to be seen to be believed.)

SCTV       (the wraparound involving Soviets hijacking the SCTV satellite signal in order to foist their heinous CCCP1 programming upon North America.)

FANTASY ISLAND       (the episode where Mr. Roarke battles Satan (Roddy McDowall) in order to save Carol Lynley's immortal soul.)

COLUMBO        ("By Dawn's Early Light."  One of the best episodes of one of my all-time favorite series.  Patrick McGoohan won an Emmy for his role.)

DYNASTY        (The Moldavian Massacre - the definitive shark-jump of an already loopy soap.)

WKRP IN CINCINNATI       ("As God is my witness...I thought turkeys could fly.")

MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000        (Any Joel episode.)

DRAGNET      (the late '60s version.  The one where Joe goes to Frank's house for a poker game with some assorted buddies.  Their only collar comes at the very end, of someone perpetrating the College Student Selling Magazines scam.  The rest of the episode is pure character quirks and weirdness, such as Frank's favorite sandwich, a repulsive mishmosh of peanut butter, crushed garlic, pimento spread, etc.  Runner-up: the one where Frank spends the entire episode lecturing a Timothy Leary type on the dangers of drug abuse.)

GAHHHHHHHHHHH!  I can't think what I want to list as my final choice.  I'll leave it up in the air for now.
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William F. Orr

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #3 on: February 24, 2004, 03:25:33 AM »

I can't get to the Peyton Place review.  Anyone else have this problem?  I click on the link, and it sends me to School of Rock.  In fact, when I pass my cursor over them, both links read #1778.  Did they take down the PP (Oh, you said a naughty word!) review because it was PP'ed upon on this site?
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Michael

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #4 on: February 24, 2004, 04:21:11 AM »

Barney Miller (The Hashish Episode)
WKRP (The Turkey Episode)
Mary Tyler Moore (Chuckles the Clown Bites The Dust)
Bewitched (Tower of Pisa)
Newhart (The Final Episode...Best last one ever)
The Prisoner
I Love Lucy (The Commercial)
Partridge Family (The Last of Howard)
Laverne and Shirley (Any episode before Shirley left)
Night Court (A Mel Torme Epsiode)
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Ben

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #5 on: February 24, 2004, 04:57:54 AM »

Hmmm, I don't have all 10 but DR Michael Shayne has mentioned one of them which is MTM and Chuckles the Clown Bites the Dust. I'll have to think of nine others.
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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #6 on: February 24, 2004, 05:39:55 AM »

DR TOMOV OZ do NOT send me the CD you were thinking of burning yesterday, and please tell me you were joking.  Bernadette, Justin, and Eminem?!!

Ahhhhh....yes some of mine have been chosen as well, but here goes:

I LOVE LUCY
Lucy Does a Television Commercial
Lucy Raises Tulips (and drives a wild lawnmover through town)

THE LUCY SHOW
Lucy & Viv Install A Shower
Danfield Volunteer Ladies' Fire Dept

THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW
Coast to Coast Big Mouth

MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW
Chuckles Bites the Dust (of course)

PERRY MASON
The Case of the Bogus Books

AMERICAN BANDSTAND
Any finale of the annual dance contest episode

BEVERLY HILLBILLIES
Granny wants to be possum queen

LAVERNE & SHIRLEY
the girls want to be high fashion models
"Where are your portfolios?"  "We lost them."
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Jrand73

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #7 on: February 24, 2004, 05:40:52 AM »

RE: The "Peyton Place" review.....computers should be registered like guns....not everyone should be writing.
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Kerry

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #8 on: February 24, 2004, 05:45:11 AM »

PARTS of shows might be more revealing. I did that once with parts of movies--wish I still had a copy of it.

I'll work on this.

1.  I must agree with DR Lulu on the Robert Mulligan's perfromance on that coffeee table or ottoman or whatever it was.  I laughed so hard and was so amazed at his physical grace and ability.  It was worthy of Cirque du Soleil.

2. For a Mary Tyler Moore show, I'd have to choose the pilot---one of the best pilots ever written-- introduces all the characters, sets up the situation.  Only unlike most pilots, it's actually funny; you care about the characters because there is some sign of depth and it is not so overly crammed with trying to work everyting into the first episode.

3. I would also choose the MTM show where all goes wrong (she has a cold, a hair bump, etc) the night of an award show.  Mary at her best.

4. Another MTM show-- I'd be torn between the one where mary sang "One For My Baby" as an audition  (and Georgette ended up being really good doing "Steam Heat.") OR theone where Betty White auditioned for the anchor woman and read the copy about a village covered in an avalanche -- but done with a  great big smile and in typical Sue Ann Nivens Style.

5. The Bob Newhart Show about Mr. Death.

6. The Bob show about writing for the big purple dinosaur and where Trisha is displeased about moving out.  Cynthia Stevenson's scene with Lisa Kudrow and Andrew Bilgore is a calssic.

7.The final Newhart show.

8. Lucy does a commercial.  One of the few "classic" episodes that isn't overrrated and is funny each time (INMHO)

9.Probably a "Mad About  You" episode, but I'm not sure which one--one in the first  couple of years.

10. Some other episode of "Soap" but am not sure which one.

11. A "Hope and Gloria" episode- but ony after Taylor Negron was added.

12. The first episode of "The Boys" with Norman Fell (the show briefly on Showtime).

13.  The episode about Benny's funeral on "The Boys."

14.  An episode of "Columbo"  --- just don't know which one.  The pilot with Gene Barry was awfully well done, but the score drove me crazy.

15.  Almost any SCTV episode, but i'd really like to just pick bits from various episodes.

OK, so that's more than 10--- that's better than I normally do.

None of this even includes "Hunk TV"-- an important part of my life and wonder years.
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Dan (the Man)

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #9 on: February 24, 2004, 06:01:39 AM »

BK, you will love being Speedy BK.  As someone who finally made the leap last summer, I can assure you that once you go broadband, you never go back (except when you dial-in to your AOL alias account to anonymously annoy certain people I could mention...)  And as I believe Dr. Suess once said, "Oh, the porn sites you will go!"

Favorite TV episodes?  I was talking to someone on ratm about this just last night...
Any Laugh-In that had Ruth Buzzi, JoAnne Worley, Goldie Hawn and Lily Tomlin on board.
Thirtysomething--two episodes here--Gary's funeral and Ellen's wedding.  See Dan cry.  Cry, boy, cry!
Phyllis--the Cloris Leachman MTM spin-off.  Judith Lowry's wedding (I guess I have a thing for weddings.)
All in the Family--Edith's menopause.  The best line ever written for a sit-com: "We're not going to Disney World!  Or any other world!"
Maude--the one where Maude think's her Aunt Tinkie has died in a plane crash.
St. Elsewhere--Nurse Daniels shoots and kills rapist Dr. White--a shocker!
Dark Shadows--any episode where the Reverand Trask got walled up.
Upstairs, Downstairs--the final episode.
Seinfeld--Master of their domains.
Fraiser--the one where the station manager thinks Fraiser is gay.


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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #10 on: February 24, 2004, 06:19:20 AM »

Quote
Oh, my Lord, I have just read the stupidest most ill-written "review" ever - just mosey on over to www.hometheatreforum.com, scroll down to DVD software and find the Peyton Place "review".  And people tell this dweeb "good job, man".  His first line is something about how he hates to watch classic films but he has to for his "reviews".  He ends up liking them, though, so that's good.  The "review" is rife with errors, both grammatical and factual.  For instance, he says he doesn't know how they got such great stereo sound from a mono film.  Oops.  Stereo film, bucko.  I mean, it's just nauseatingly amusing.

When I read this "review" late last night, I though about you, BK!  Now, maybe I don't have to pick on the seemingly more intelligent reviews of my personal bugaboo (www.dvdmg.com).
I was shocked! I was aghast!  I was mortified!  I found the review to be ridiculous in the extreme.  Thank the lord that people like this do NOT GET PAID to write their reviews; on this one, there would've been a demand for money returned!  Oy!
Not to be stuck up, but, I know that I have a way or two with a word when writing a review, and I ALWAYS have done my homework BEFORE putting pen to paper then fingers to keyboard.  I must be doing something right for Richard Valley to have put me on the staff at Scarlet Street, BUT, when I'm doing wrong, I appreciate being told and try to do better the next time.

I'll be back with TOD, but, immediately off the top of my head:
THE X FILES: "The Post-Modern Prometheus," which contains all the themes of THE X FILES, throws in some Universal Horror, The Weekly World News, black and white cinematography,  the brilliant pairing of Duchovny and Anderson, Eric Stoltz' make-up from MASK and CHER! ! !
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William E. Lurie

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #11 on: February 24, 2004, 06:23:38 AM »

BK - I will definitely be pre-ordering in a week or so  but I want to make a credit card payment first.  However please include me in your "count".

TV series I'd include:
The Howdy Doody Show
Jamie (a mid-50s series starring Brandon DeWilde)
I Love Lucy
East Side West Side
St. Elsewhere
Brothers (Showtime Sitcom)
An American Family (the PBS documentary from the 70s, not the recent series of the same name)
Pink Lady and Jeff
Hope and Faith

Did Shirley leave L&S before the series ended?  As much as I liked the female cast, I could not stand the regular male cast (regular cast BK - not special guests) so I rarely watched it.
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Jrand73

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #12 on: February 24, 2004, 06:50:58 AM »

I forgot The Twilight Zone and a bunch of others...grrrrrrrr....  
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DERBRUCER

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #13 on: February 24, 2004, 07:20:10 AM »

I can't get to the Peyton Place review.  Anyone else have this problem?  

Yes, but I'm a techno-nerd so I found it anyway.

Herewith from der Brucer's "Links for Dummies":

God Awful Review

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MBarnum

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #14 on: February 24, 2004, 07:26:56 AM »

TV show compilation:

ADAM-12 episode where Reed and Malloy help out a single mom whose car has been stolen on Christmas Eve..with all her kid's Christmas presents in the trunk.

Beverly Hillbillies: Any episode where Joi Lansing guest stars

PERRY MASON: Case of the Bogus Book with guest star Allison Hayes and Case of the Madcap Modiste with guest stars Dorothy Neumann and Leslie Parrish (if I was making the compilation for our own BK)

MELROSE PLACE: Any old episode

FLIPPER: Any episode where Brian Kelly takes his shirt off.

GILLIGAN'S ISLAND: The episode where Mary Ann gets bonked on the head and thinks that she is Ginger.

Jack Benny Show: Just about any episode

I LOVE LUCY: The vitametavegamin episode

THUNDERBIRDS: Just about any episode
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DERBRUCER

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #15 on: February 24, 2004, 07:28:33 AM »

RE: The "Peyton Place" review.....computers should be registered like guns....not everyone should be writing.

Well, I'm a big fan of personal gun ownership - it's the conceal and carry bit that's troublesome.

I think every idiot should be free to write, but maybe there should be a license to publish!

If we let every idiot publish reviews of his choice, and allowed every creative author/director/publisher to carry a gun, we could turn an old adage on its end:

"PUBLISH AND PERSISH"

der Brucer (wanting to ask DR JRand - what would you list as the qualifications to be a DVD reviewer?)
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DERBRUCER

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #16 on: February 24, 2004, 07:38:02 AM »



   Like his brash young hero, Bruce Kimmel was born

Brash Bruce - I like the sound of that! (Now try saying it six times, very fast!)

der Brasher Brucer
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DERBRUCER

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #17 on: February 24, 2004, 07:41:03 AM »

I forgot The Twilight Zone and a bunch of others...grrrrrrrr....  

And I would have thought "Dark Shadows" would be on your list - not (necessarily) implying a familal resemblence.
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Matt H.

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #18 on: February 24, 2004, 07:53:12 AM »

Southern trash, BK? As a born and bred Southerner, perhaps you could elaborate?

My TV/video compilation:

SUPERMAN - "The Woman in Black"

THE TWILIGHT ZONE - "Eye of the Beholder"

THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW - "That's My Boy"

THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW - "The Good Time News" (but there are dozens of others)

KOLCHAK: THE NIGHT STALKER - "Horror in the Heights"

MASH - "Dear Sigmund"

MURDER SHE WROTE - "The Flight of the Dixie Damsel"

OZ - "Nick o' Time"

FRIENDS - "The One Hundredth"

WILL & GRACE - "My Brother's Keeper I and II"
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Jrand73

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #19 on: February 24, 2004, 07:54:46 AM »

Uh........yes maybe a license to publish....no...you're right freedom of speech...even if....der Brucer is correct.

A knowledge of movies beyond what you might have seen yesterday would be helpful as a reviewer!   LOL.

Dark Shadows...yes especially Grayson Hall!  And The Young and the Restless from the 1970's with Jill and Snapper Foster.
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Matt H.

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #20 on: February 24, 2004, 07:59:04 AM »

I can't read those "reviews" or even views on classic movies generally speaking. I get so angry and outraged that such misinformation is being spewed about that I just can't go there. Just reading the excerpts mentioned made me so angry I wanted to fling my computer against the wall. With libraries full of books on the history of cinema and the internet just a click away which can lead you to virtually any information past or present about movies, such an error-prone and ill-written piece of crap shouldn't happen. But it does and too often.
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William F. Orr

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #21 on: February 24, 2004, 07:59:45 AM »

Yes, but I'm a techno-nerd so I found it anyway.

Herewith from der Brucer's "Links for Dummies":

God Awful Review

Thanks, Der.
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DERBRUCER

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #22 on: February 24, 2004, 08:24:40 AM »

I get so angry and outraged that such misinformation is being spewed about that I just can't go there....With libraries full of books ...

Well, I'm not sure Libraries are the answer to "misinformation";  how about this book :Protocols of the Elders of Zion?

Surely most of us would agree that our current print media is rife with misinformation - The New York Times is becoming about as reliable as the National Enquirer.

I guess the best we can do we we find misinformative crap is suggest a factual rebutal:

der Brucer debunks the Reviewer:

Reviewer:

Quote
What I like about these older movies is….there is no special effects! No explosions, no crashes, no foul language.

This in reference to a film released in 1957.
I wonder what, if any, special effects were around about that time?

The year before Ben Hur parted the Red Sea and Roby the Robot showed up on:



In 1953 we had

which came close on the heels of


The decade started with the documentary "Destination Moon".

So I respectfully suggest you get your facts straight, A**hole.

Your humble correspondent,
der Stupid Critic Brasher Brucer
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Matt H.

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #23 on: February 24, 2004, 08:40:28 AM »

You can't discount an entire library due to a few books that might have some misinformation. Better to find books from RELIABLE sources/authors and use those for some personal education. But these "reviewers" would never deign to occupy their time educating themselves on the subject of their expertise. It's easier to stay ignorant.
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bk

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #24 on: February 24, 2004, 08:50:40 AM »

Lulu: That site posits itself as the be-all and end-all of things DVD, and their "reviewers" are writing official "reviews" not telling their thoughts on a message board.  

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bk

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #25 on: February 24, 2004, 08:51:36 AM »

Southern trash melodrama, MattH.  A genre, just like noir, romantic comedy, soap opera, etc.
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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #26 on: February 24, 2004, 08:55:35 AM »

Good morning. Only have a few moments - much to do.
Congrats on the Kritzerland review, bk!

Favorite episodes: CHUCKLES BITES THE DUST. The perfect half hour. I used to use it whenever I was asked to give a talk on writing for television. Having written almost everything now - movies, episodic, sitcoms, etc. - I still maintain that if you can write a superb half hour comedy, you can write anything. (Yes, there are exceptions - but I'm making a blanket statement here - if only we had a beach and Annette and Frankie...) Anyway, to get back to my point... You can dissect that episode and it will teach you almost everything you need to know about dramatic writing - at the same time as it makes you cry and pee your pants laughing. End of lecture.

As for others - almost any TWILIGHT ZONE - even the bad ones were good.

DICK VAN DYKE - there are too many favorites to pick one. That show is like a warm bath for me. I just lie back and relax and know it will be good.

SCTV - pick an episode.

SEEING THINGS - Only some of the Canadians will know this one. (Or people who used to watch late night PBS in NY.) The episode in which Kate Reid played the murderous mother of a midget. I don't remember the title. Totally surreal and funny. And I have to admit to a slight conflict of interest because I wrote it.

I've spent more time on this than I'd intended. Back later with more faves.
« Last Edit: February 24, 2004, 08:57:27 AM by Panni »
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Jrand73

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #27 on: February 24, 2004, 09:01:28 AM »

Yes Mr Richard Valley has written a superb review of Kritzerland!  Bring on Scarlet Street #50!!!
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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #28 on: February 24, 2004, 09:06:38 AM »

Then there's so many episodes of "Murphy Brown," the episode of "Coach" where one of the players announced he was gay (was  that our very own Brent Barrett?)-- a Classic episode with some priceless moments.  Though they would not be the best, I was definitely affected by things like "Gilligan's Island" and others.   I mean I cried when Pebbles was born and when Buffie lost Mrs. Beasley.  (Do NOT tell anyone this)

Commercials afffected us just as much.
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Dan (the Man)

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Re:SPEEDY BK
« Reply #29 on: February 24, 2004, 09:39:09 AM »

Dark Shadows...yes especially Grayson Hall!  


I loved Grayson Hall.  She didn't have half the career she should have had.  I wish I had seen her in HAPPY END.
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And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
-- Anaïs Nin
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