Wow, did Vixmom ever have a bad day!
For Vixmom and anyone else who doesn't know but might be interested, you can subscribe to Lifelock to monitor activity such a new bank account in your name. Discover card offers the same service for a few dollars less. Fortunately, they've never found anything unseemly on my accounts, so I can't say how well they help you once they do.
Vibes for a comfortable mouth pronto!