Well, dear readers, you will not believe it and yet you must believe it because it just happened. I had written the entire first section of these here notes, and was just beginning to answer the questions of Ask BK Day, when AOL lost the connection (this happens way too frequently) and I lost everything I’d written. I was certain it would be there when I signed back on, and yet it was not there when I signed back on. May I just say that I don’t know how AOL stays in business with this kind of service. It is reprehensible. I will, from now on, write these here notes as a Word document, then cut and paste them into my handy-dandy form after I’m done.
Yesterday, we broke our old record number of posts – we had over fifty count them fifty posts! Of course, many of them were from the comedy team of Miriam and Bruno so I don’t know if we can really count it as a broken record. Oh, the hell with it, let’s count it. Let’s dance the Hora whilst eating a cheese slice and a ham chunk. Let’s prance around the house in our cut-off jeans and amusing party hats. Soon we will be the most popular site on all the internet, and other sites will be jealous and scratch their heads in wonderment at how an upstart site like haineshisway.com could have so many posts in one day. You know, I feel as if I’ve written this already – I’m having a sense of déjà vu here. Of course, that is because I have written this already.
We had a terrific rehearsal yesterday with all our wonderful singers. Everything went very well – everyone knew their material, was totally professional, and Murphy Cross and I even got to fully stage three numbers. All the disparate elements of the show have been rehearsed. It would be nice if we were able to have a proper run-through of the whole show with everyone there at once, but that’s unfortunately not how these things work. The first time we run everything from start to finish is when we do the show. It’s like flying by the seat of your pants, but hopefully, since all the separate elements are well rehearsed it will all come together beautifully. We do get to be in the theater from the wee small hours of the morning on Sunday – so we will run all the light cues, do our sound checks, run numbers and entrances and exits, and test the video projection system. It’s a very big show, but I have a wonderful stage manager who I know will keep the whole thing running smoothly. “Flying by the seat of your pants”? What does that mean? I tried flying by the seat of my pants, but the seat of my pants will simply not fly, the seat of my pants is earthbound, and just sits there like so much fish, refusing to be airborne. And shouldn’t it be “by the seat of my pant”? Isn’t “pants” in fact a pair of pants, in other words two pairs of pants? No, two pairs of pants would be four pant, yes? So, a pair of pants would be two pant, yes? Isn’t that confusing? I’m beginning to pant from all this pant confusion. I feel as if I’ve written all this already. I’m having that peculiar déjà vu feeling again.
Well, we had lots of questions (some of which I’ve already answered but will answer again) so let’s all click on that Unseemly Button below (there is no Unseemly Button below because I’m not writing this where I usually do, but that is neither here nor there nor there nor here) so I can get to it.
Here we go again. May I just say one more time that I hate AOL (I know, I should know better and should have a different service, but I am a creature of habit). In any case, on to the questions.
Freedunit asks several questions. Is it true that for the purposes of recording, a mechanical license cannot be denied? In other words, someone could record virtually the entire score from The King and I, and that someone could obtain a mechanical license from the publishers of said songs. But if that someone were to put in a request to do a production of the show, the rights holders of the show could deny that production, because those rights are more rigidly controlled.
Here’s how it works: If a song has been recorded before, anyone anywhere can record it and a mechanical license must be granted, as long as it’s filed for in the proper time frame. Even if the publisher and/or authors hate the arrangement, the singer, anything – it doesn’t matter, the license must be granted. However, if a song has not been recorded before, then one must obtain the permission of the publisher and/or songwriters. If permission is obtained then a license will be granted. We had to get permission to record almost all the songs used on the Lost In Boston and Unsung Musicals album, but those who recorded them subsequent to us doing them, didn’t have to get permission. As to recording virtually the entire score to The King and I (or whatever show), no, you can’t record the entire score to a show because that falls under something called “grand rights” and permission must be obtained. You can record most of the songs to The King and I, or maybe even all the songs to The King and I (leaving off things like the Overture, the ballet, reprises, etc.), but you’d most likely have to call the album “Songs From The King and I”.
Freedunit also asks if Guy Haines and I get along well? We get along swimmingly, as long as we are not in the same room. If we are in the same room we tend to bitch-slap each other and say catty things and even occasionally hurl vile epithets (no mean feat) at each other.
Freedunit also mentions that when a dear reader asked whether my daughter was an only child (she is) if I was surprised that there was no followup question like, “Would you like other children?” That’s a hard question to answer. I love children, love being around them, talking to them. Luckily, most of my friends have kids, so I do get a kid-fix quite often. As to having another of my own, well, I simply don’t know if I’d have the patience to do that again.
Next, what is the most impertinent question I have ever been asked and that I can print? I don’t know that I’ve ever been asked a truly impertinent question, other than the time I was asked if I ever had relations with a Yak. Naturally, I refused to answer.
Lastly, to what has Freedunit made obtuse reference with this line of questioning? Whatever it is, it’s too obtuse for me.
This is the point at which AOL “lost the connection”. So, from here on in it’s all fresh, with no déjà vu.
Hapgood asks what is my opinion of George Bernard Shaw, John Guare and William Finn? I think highly of Mr. Shaw (especially Man and Superman), think highly of Mr. Guare, and think Mr. Finn an interesting composer/lyricist. I don’t find I give Mr. Finn’s recordings repeated listenings, though, but there are always things I admire.
Sandra’s friend Megan asks if I’ve ever heard of brownberries? Someone asked Megan if she liked them, but she hadn’t heard of them and was afraid this guy was pulling her leg. Guy once pulled my leg, which is another reason I don’t like to be in the same room with him. I have never heard of brownberries, although I suppose if blueberries were left to rot they might be brownberries in the end.
Stephen Farrow asks if The First Nudie Musical will also be released on VHS as well as DVD. Yes, it will (it’s also available for preorder on amazon.com), but it won’t have the extras, at least I don’t think it will have the extras. It will, however, have the very nice letterboxed transfer.
Arnold M. Brockman asks if I think that John Goodman would be a good Max Bialystock in The Producers? I don’t know if Mr. Goodman could sing the show eight times a week (but then again, neither could Nathan Lane), but he certainly would do the role very well, I should think.
Arnold also asks how the genesis of The Real A came into being and what the name means. For those who don’t know, I wrote a column over at sondheim.com called One From Column A, under the name The Real A. The column came about because Mr. Mark Bakalor asked me to do it. I’d been posting there under the name The Real A (for Anonymous) and people liked my posts, so it seemed like a fun thing to do. I did it for two years, but they were very long columns and it got to be too much. Arnold also asks that if The Court Jester were to come to the stage who would I cast. The fact is, when I was contemplating getting the rights, I’d already approached Rob Marshall about directing and choreographing it, with Martin Short in the Danny Kaye role.
Phil Crosby asks if I had to pick would it be Ginger or Mary Ann? Betty or Veronica? Alice or Emily? Frankly, I would have to have all six – there is simply no choosing. And remember, with six you get eggroll, so there you are.
Mattso asks where the name Guy Haines came from? There is a complete family history here at haineshisway.com and you can peruse family photos and get to know the Haines clan by clicking on the Unseemly Photo Galley button. Interestingly, Guy Haines is also the name of the character played by Farley Granger in Mr. Alfre Hitchcock’s Strangers on a Train. Mattso also asks if I’ve ever been to Baltimore. Baltimore is one of the few places I haven’t been to. Finally, Mattso asks if a wrap-around skirt is tied and not sewn is it unseemly. Frankly, I think all wrap-around skirts, whether tied or sewn, are unseemly. I do have a pair of wrap-around pants that I’m quite fond of, however. I mean a wrap-around pant, not a pair. I only have one wrap-around pant. This pants thing is getting on my nerves.
JMK asks how I met and became involved with the Wechter family. Interestingly, I first met David Wechter, when I read for a film that he and then partner Mike Nankin were directing at Disney, Midnight Madness. I didn’t get the part (David Naughton, who is in our benefit, got the part, damn his eyes). I then ran into David at a party, when we were both directing and writing segments for a cable comedy show called Likely Stories on Showtime. We struck up a friendship and began writing together, soon thereafter. Soon thereafter soon thereafter we wrote The Faculty together. Through David I met the rest of the Wechter clan and we all became good friends. I then produced an album called New Deal with the Baja Marimbas, a slightly reconfigured version of the Baja Marimba Band, with Julius and the boys. It’s a really good album and we had a blast doing it. David and I have worked on many projects together and continue to do so with our brand spanking new musical.
Lolita asks if I could revive a Sondheim musical what would it be and who would I cast? Oh, I don’t know – Sondheim has become the most revived musical man – I don’t know what else there is to say. If I had my druthers, however, maybe Anyone Can Whistle, with Susan Egan or Alice Ripley as Fay, maybe Faith Prince in the Angela Lansbury role, and maybe James Naughton in the Harry Guardino role.
Lolita also ask who is my favorite poet? I’m not all that poet-friendly, so I will say Dorothy Parker. Lolita also asks what I think of Diet Coke with Lemon. Feh. And if I have any feelings about the upcoming Vanilla coke. I have no feelings about the upcoming Vanilla coke, other than it sounds like it would make me vomit.
Craig asks several questions: How many DVDs and CDs do I have and how are they organized? I’m afraid you will be disgusted to know that I probably have six thousand CDs (alphabetical by title, within their own respective genres – i.e. shows, soundtracks, instrumentals, vocals), and around two thousand DVDs (they’re all over the place, but I try to keep them alphabetical).
If I did a revival of Li’l Abner who would I cast. Well, Alice Ripley, who did the Encores! version, is the spitting image of Mr. Capp’s Daisy Mae, so maybe her. A few years ago I would have said Jason Workman – now I think I’d just search for a newcomer who was perfect in the way Peter Palmer was perfect in the original. Finally, what musical best represents me (like the question, “if you were a flavor of jellybean, what would it be”)? Oh, I don’t know – Cats? Phantom of the Opera? Starmites?
And there you have it. I’m sorry these here notes are going up so late, but don’t blame me – blame it on Rio, blame it on the Bossa Nova, blame it on my youth (hah!), put the blame on Mame, better yet blame it on the real culprit – The Real AOL. Send AOL nasty notes to show your displeasure. As for me, I must take the day, I must get ready to do the things I do. Today’s topic of discussion: Since a few dear readers have asked what musicals I would revive and who I would cast – if you could revive one musical, what would it be and who would you cast? I’ve already answered, so, your turn.