Well, dear readers, it’s Thursday. I ask you, where else on all the Internet can you find such information? Nowhere, that’s where. Being Thursday, we resume performances of the play this evening. We’ve had three days off and hopefully the actors will remember their lines and remember where we were, performance-wise. We’ll be meeting at seven to run a couple of sequences. Speaking of sequences, I had another oddly odd day yesterday. I awoke rather late (got some needed sleep), then was behind for the rest of the day. I never got around to writing anything, so I’ll have to make up for that today. I did watch a couple more Doodlebops episodes, I told them what tapes we’ll need for the editing session tomorrow, and so I think we’re all set for that. I then tried to satisfy my Chinese food craving, but the whole Chinese food thing turned into The Chinese Food Caper. I went to a jernt that had been touted as “great” and “the best.” It was hardly great and it certainly was the opposite of the best – it was one of the worst Chinese food experiences (if not THE worst) I’ve ever had. It was flavorless, tasted poorly, and made me want to throw up on the ground. I ate three bites of each dish and threw the rest in the trash. I then did some errands, and then went to a familiar Chinese restaurant, got the same two dishes, and this time they were just fine – not great, but world’s better than the inedible stuff from the “great” restaurant. By that time, the day was already over, and the Chinese food had made me very sleepy.
Last night, I finished watching a motion picture on DVD entitled Chan Is Missing. If you want to know what true independent filmmaking is all about, look no further than this very interesting film by Wayne Wang (made in 1981, when there really were independent films). Made on a shoestring in 16mm black-and-white, the film’s milieu (San Francisco’s Chinatown) is wonderfully captured, and the enigmatic story is always interesting and well told, mostly through improvised dialogue. The performances (some professional actors, some amateurs) are weird and fun, and the movie breezes through its eighty-minute running time. The transfer is excellent – full frame (as it should be) and looking very good. Does it look like today’s independent films? Hell, no. It looks cheap, sounds cheap, but it all somehow works because it does what it wants to do and it does it interestingly and uniquely. I then attempted to watch Return Of The Pink Panther, the first of the 70s comeback of Sellers/Closeau/Blake Edwards’ films. I attended a sneak preview of the film at the Village Theater in Westwood way back when. After a well-staged and directed robbery sequence, we have a couple of funny bits with Sellers. And then, the film went on for another two hours with not one laugh. The mood was funereal after that preview – you could see the shock on the faces of the viewers, and on the face of Mr. Edwards, who was in attendance. I never saw the film again, but did hear first-hand reports that a good third of it was reshot after that preview (lost among the cut footage was a cameo by Julie Andrews). Unfortunately, seeing it again with the reshot third makes no difference – it’s an incredibly unfunny and incredibly long two-hour film. As most of you know, I will go to the mat for Blake Edwards who, when he’s on, is a wonderful director, and one of the great directors of comedy filmed in scope. But, when he’s bad, there is no one worse. I finally shut the movie off about ninety minutes in. I then attempted to run Curse of The Pink Panther, with Ted Wass as an Americanized bumbler (after Peter Sellers had died). It is another completely unfunny affair and I shut it off after thirty minutes of not one laugh or one interesting shot. I then attempted to run Son of The Pink Panther, with Roberto Bengini as Clouseau’s son. Awful. Terrible. Completely unfunny. In fact, none of the Panther movies after Shot In The Dark are funny – they’re just labored and painful to watch and I don’t like any of them. Transfers are decent and nothing more.
What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I’ve got things to do, places to go, and people to see, not necessarily in that order.
Today I must type up all my time code notes so that we can find things easily for the edit session. I must print out my scripts, and I must be very organized. I’m working with an editor I don’t know, but I asked them to give me someone who’s done promos for Disney, so that he knows what he’s doing. I must also make up for my lack of writing yesterday. I must also have a two-hour meeting with Miss Linda Purl – we’ll be starting to structure out her show on paper. I must also book a time for a haircut, as my hair has become completely unwieldy and unkempt, not necessarily in that order. I must also ship out a couple of packages, and do some banking, and maybe even pick up a package or three.
Now wait just a darned minute – I’ll be hornswoggled if we don’t have us another double birthday celebration. So, let us put on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, let us break out the cheese slices and the ham chunks, let us dance the Hora and the fox trot, for today is the actual birthday of dear reader Ben and dear reader Iris. So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to our very own dear reader Ben and dear reader Iris. On the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO OUR VERY OWN DEAR READER BEN AND DEAR READER IRIS!!!
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, have a very busy day, and then I must attend tonight’s performance of Deceit, and then I must try to get to bed early so that I’m fresh as a daisy for the editing session tomorrow. Today’s topic of discussion: If you could turn any unfilmed book into a movie, which book would it be and who would you cast, and who would direct it? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, and today I can assure you there will be no repeat of The Chinese Food Caper.