Well, dear readers, there is BS and there is BS and I come to talk of two forms of BS. The first BS is this: The other day on the Facebook someone posted an article from the really bad critic at the New Yorker, Richard Brody, who called Ishtar a neglected masterpiece. Over the years, I have now seen that sentiment from several “critics” and then the people who read those critics who now also think it’s an underappreciated masterpiece. I saw the film on its opening day, full audience, very excited to see a new film from Elaine May and starring Mr. Beatty and Mr. Hoffman. I had read not a single word about it, and I doubt others had either. Yes, there were rumors going around that it wasn’t good and was a disaster, but I simply hadn’t seen or heard them. The film began. There were a couple of chuckles in the first scene with the bad songwriters, Hoffman and Beatty. Then those bad songwriter scenes stretched on for twenty minutes and quickly became not only not funny but irritating. Get on with the damn plot, we get it, they’re bad songwriters. Now, I created two bad songwriters back in the days of One from Column A – Meltz and Ernest. They never overstayed their welcome, let’s just put it that way. On screen, Beatty and Hoffman don’t ever feel real and that’s a big problem. I love Elaine May and especially loved her work on Heaven Can Wait and her own The Heartbreak Kid and A New Leaf. A unique comic voice. And perhaps if she’d had a cast who understood her comic rhythm that might have helped, but Hoffman doesn’t, clearly, and Beatty has to play off Hoffman. I suppose Charles Grodin comes closest, but his character is just stupid and tiresome. It becomes clear that this endeavor was designed to feel like a Hope and Crosby Road picture. Well, they had chemistry and writers who understood who they were writing for. In any case, once we finally get to Morocco (they could have easily cut the opening scenes down to ten minutes and we’d still know everything we needed to know), the plot kicks in, but sadly the plot doesn’t work. Scenes are interminable, there aren’t any laughs to speak of, and this is the film that made me start not liking Mr. Hoffman anymore. And then it ends the way it began, with more “bad” songs. The “bad” songs are never bad enough, in my opinion – they’re just Paul Williams and Ms. May thinking they’re being clever, when they aren’t really. By the forty-minute mark in the theater, the audience was beginning to walk out. By the ninety-minute mark maybe half the audience had bolted. By the ending, I’d say there weren’t many of us left. It was a profoundly bad film and a profoundly disappointing one. The reviews were horrible and it was a complete bomb at the box-office. And, as you can see, there suddenly will be an auteur-minded critic who immediately proclaims that everyone is wrong and he/she is right – it’s a MASTERPIECE. That took some time to happen but happen it did and now everyone trumpets that save for me, I guess. I watched it on DVD and it was still terrible. I bought the Blu-ray based on these people telling me there was something wrong with me if I didn’t think it was a masterpiece. It was still terrible. And last night, after partaking in that Facebook thread, I watched it again. And guess what? It’s still terrible. It doesn’t get better because it’s thirty-five years later. But this always happens with certain critics. They live in some alternate film universe and it’s not a universe that I wish to visit.
And then there’s the second kind of BS. Two nights ago, the first Broadway revival of Funny Girl took place. The reviews were mostly trying to be kind to its leading lady, one Beanie Feldstein, but the consensus was she was the wrong person for the part, didn’t have the voice to pull off the songs, and just didn’t work. No one really compared her to the show and film’s original star, the real BS – Barbra Streisand. Then the stans (superfans of Beanie or family friends – more about that in a minute) came out and vociferously defended her, as these vociferous people will. I’ve only heard some audio of Ms. Feldstein singing and it was is not what I’d call good. I’m told that the sound people in the theater are doing heavy lifting with the reverb and volume buttons and maybe even a pitch correcting button. But I’m not going to pile on a performance I haven’t seen. And then you have people saying that she’s getting screaming cheers and applause. One person responding to that said he was sitting with a pretty full view of the audience seeing the show and that no one was screaming and cheering and applauding wildly, that all that sound was – wait for it – coming from the speakers in the theater.
Now, I have been saying this for some time and I think if someone found evidence of it there would be a major scandal about it – when I saw Hamilton here, I was seated in row M in the orchestra. When the show announcement was made, there was screaming and whooping and hollering, sounding like a bunch of teens on uppers. I looked around and could not locate a single person reacting like that anywhere. And during the show it got worse. No one in the orchestra section was doing that, it was all coming from the speakers. Now, wouldn’t that lead a person to believe they were sweetening the show’s audience reaction, pumping them up? Because that’s where my mind went, and I’ve seen other newer shows on tour here where the same thing happens. IF that is true it is reprehensible, and the producers and designers should be exposed and have to answer for it. I wish I knew someone in the know who’d tell me, but I think they all would have taken a vow of silence about it.
So, last night, to wash the bad taste of Ishtar away, I watched the film of Funny Girl. I saw the national tour here at the Music Center, with Marilyn Michaels and Anthony George. I found the show distinctly mediocre, save for the songs, and Ms. Michaels was channeling Ms. Streisand but wasn’t quite of that quality, although I enjoyed her okay. Mr. George was terrible and the whole thing lacked energy. Act one had its moments, certainly, but act two was dreary and soap opera-ish and a bore, save for the good songs and almost sans comedy relief, which is kind of deadly for a show called FUNNY Girl. The movie rights some of the wrongs, right from the start. But here’s where you know what the problem is doing Funny Girl today is: The second Ms. Streisand appears you know you’re in the presence of someone unique and as special as special gets. She has not a false move and the camera absolutely loves her. And when she launches into I’m the Greatest Star you know she believes it and she delivers it. And – she’s FUNNY, physically and verbally FUNNY. She doesn’t have to overtly mug or “sell” the comedy – she just has it built in. She’s simply magical as Fanny. The second half of the film is still soap opera-ish and it’s still a problem. I think there might have been ways to fix it back then, but they never did. It just becomes dreary, save for the songs. But then BS delivers My Man and all is right with the world, although I do love The Music That Makes Me Dance from the show. She’s simply brilliant in the film and there are no two ways about it. Some on Facebook have said that Funny Girl made her an overnight star – how can People be so ignorant? She’d already done two Grammy-winning albums, appeared on TV, and been up for a Tony Award. Oh well, it’s Facebook.
The revival was first done in London with Sheridan Smith, with Harvey Fierstein revising the book somewhat (mostly second act). From all reports, he didn’t really help much. I watched as much as I could stomach of that version and found Ms. Smith completely unfunny and unable to deliver the songs in the way they need to be delivered. And unfortunately, the director of the revival is the last director I would hire to do a show like Funny Girl. And although Ms. Feldstein may possess some comic chops, she just doesn’t appear to have the voice to pull off the songs or to inhabit the character. And I can’t think of a single person working in the theater today who has everything that’s needed to play Fanny Brice. Oh, everyone says the usual names, but some of them have played the show and there are clips and belting the songs does not equate to selling them properly and the comedy is missing with every one of them. Much of this can also be laid at the feet of the director. Some have asked what the casting process was to end up where they ended up. There was no casting process. The show came to Broadway with Ms. Feldstein because it is said that her father is an investor in the show and not an insignificant investor – some say the revival would not have happened were it not for his investment. Anyway, the show was designed for Ms. Streisand but I do believe if you found the right person with the right director and could address some of the second act issues, there might be a fun production to be had. Given the critical consensus regarding this revival, this isn’t that production.
That was my evening viewing. Then I finished the symphonies of Darius Milhaud – very enjoyable – and moved on to his five piano concertos, which are delightful and very Milhaud.
Yesterday wasn’t a day at all. I fell asleep around three-thirty, woke up at five-thirty, went back to bed around seven, work up at nine-thirty to take a phone call from the publisher, then stayed up until ten-thirty to make sure all the book files got to the check-in coordinator – once I had confirmation of that I went back to bed, finally fell asleep and didn’t get up until three-thirty – I think all told I got between nine and nine-and-a-half hours of sleep. I then answered a LOT of e-mails, then ordered my favorite pasta dish from the Cheesecake Factory – the farfalle with roasted garlic, chicken, caramelized onions, peas, in a light cream sauce. It arrived forty-five minutes later and I ate it all up, along with one piece of bread. I’m afraid it wasn’t the best batch of the pasta – the chicken was literally charred, which makes for a very unpleasant taste. It was the first time it’s been disappointing.
Then I watched the two motion pictures, had no further food, and the rest you know.
Today, I’ll be up when I’m up, I’ll do whatever needs doing, I’ll hope for some needed little miracles to get through the next couple of weeks, so send some most excellent vibes and xylophones for little miracles, I’ll converse with David Wechter about how we’ll handle revising our screenplay, I may start writing the play I’m thinking about writing, just to see how it feels, I’ll hopefully pick up some packages, I’ll eat something reasonable, and then at some point, I’ll watch, listen, and relax.
Tomorrow, I’m having lunch with Sami’s mom, Thursday is a brief rehearsal with the gal who’s taking over for our departing actress, Friday, I’ll get to the theater early so our actress can sing her songs with the band and to solidify any staging issues, and then we play our fifth weekend of performances.
Let’s all put on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, let’s all break out the cheese slices and ham chunks, let’s all dance the Hora or the old-fashioned waltz, for today is the birthday of dear reader Jennifer. Let’s all give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to dear reader Jennifer. On the count of three: One, two, three – A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO DEAR READER JENNIFER!!!
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, be up when I’m up, do whatever needs doing, hope for some little miracles, converse, maybe write, hopefully pick up packages, eat, and then watch, listen, and relax. Today’s topic of discussion: What are your favorite albums and films of Miss BS herself – Barbra Streisand. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, having given my two centimes on BS.