Well, dear readers, this week has flown by, like a gazelle eating a fish stick. Speaking of fish sticks, I did try the Trader Joe’s brand. They were okay but I would not prepare them the way I did the couple that I ate – stovetop. Next time, I heat ‘em up in the oven because nothin’ says lovin’ like something in the oven. I also tried Trader Joe’s tartar sauce and it wasn’t terrible. Thus endeth the chatter about fish sticks. But thus beginneth the chatter about a motion picture I watched last evening, which was conveniently entitled Chatterbox, a musical about a woman’s private part that talks and sings. To put this in perspective, this film was written and produced in 1976. I think you can see where this is going. Yes, once upon a time in Hollywood there was a motion picture entitled The First Nudie Musical. We became something of a sensation in both bad and good ways. By the time it hit LA in March of 1976, we’d garnered rave reviews from many places all over the country. In this motion picture is a line of dialogue that references singing genitalia. I think you can see where this is going. So, here is a little-known fact about Chatterbox, which was produced by a man named Bruce Cohn Curtis and directed by a former porn director, Tom di Simone and you will never see a more ineptly directed film. Let’s get to both the nitty-gritty and the gritty-nitty. It’s a terrible movie, completely unfunny, despite “guest stars” like Rip Taylor, Professor Irwin Corey, and Sandra Gould. Also, like a lot of the junk on Prime, it’s shown full frame, which means we get a LOT of intruding microphones in shots – you’ve never seen so many damn microphones in your life. It was picked up by American International, who should have known better. The film was “released” in L.A. in November of 1977 without a single ad. It’s biggest theater was the World, a one-dollar grindhouse, where it showed on a triple bill. But here’s the little-known thing: Back in 1976, I was offered several movies to direct – I don’t even think I talk about this in my book – all of them crude and blatant Nudie rip-offs, the MOST blatant of which was – Chatterbox. At the time Bruce Cohn Curtis offered it to me, I believe it was called Lips. I read it, found it to be a low-rent rip-off of our low-rent movie, the big difference being that this wasn’t funny. I suppose had I taken it, I might have re-written it and made it funny, but I could not justify doing a movie that was a rip-off of a movie I’d just made. If you read the “reviews” on the imdb, most are written by Quentin Tarantino lovers who, because he was a fan of the film’s star, Candice Rialson, they’re now all fans. That’s how cults work. So, the LOVE it and not one of these so-called reviews mentions a little movie that it so wants to be. If you want to see what Nudie Musical might have been if it was written by these people, it’s free on Amazon Prime. Actually, I recommend watching it just so you can see just how imitative it is, right down to many specific shots – Hollywood Boulevard sequence – check. Camera crane scene – check. Shot at Producer’s Studio right in front of and on our stage – check. Front of Producer’s Studio show – check. Montages that look just like ours – check. And on and on and on. They must’ve really viewed our little movie over and over again. Certainly, none of that is coincidence. The musical numbers are horrific and completely unfunny. The director, coming from the specific porn world that he came from seems much more interested in the boy dancers and cast members, right up there with Allan Carr’s Can’t Stop the Music.
Yesterday was certainly a day. I got seven hours of sleep, got up, answered e-mails, got proofer one’s final set of proofing fixes and boy did he catch some good stuff and I did about 90% of them. In doing one mistake he’d caught, my eye went to the next paragraph and there was a misspelling there that no one had caught. I couldn’t believe it, and neither could he. It took him several times reading through that page to locate it after I told him we’d all missed a doozy. I began entering them, which was a slow and laborious process because I entered them on the manuscript and two versions of the designed book. I only got about fifty pages’ worth done before having to leave for rehearsal.
Rehearsal was fun. We have two actors playing the lead male role – one is playing the opening weekend, and the other is playing the rest of the run. So, it’s a little weird trying to keep the small amount of blocking the same but allowing for the actor to have his own interpretation. I’m not one of these people who insist the covers do exactly what the person they’re covering do, because, for me, that never works. Both actors are very good. We’re still struggling on lines, but hopefully they’ll have them down for today and tomorrow’s rehearsals.
Afterwards, I went to nearby Dino’s Pizza and got not pizza but their great garden salad and some Eyetalian dressing. I came home and ate that whilst entering the rest of the fixes, which took the rest of the afternoon into the early evening. At around seven-thirty I decided to get some mac-and-cheese from a nearby jernt, as the salad wasn’t really enough food for all day and evening and the Eyetalian dressing was VERY light. That was also very good. Then I finally sat on my couch like so much fish and watched the beginnings of a couple of movies, and then Chatterbox.
Today, I’ll be up by eleven, I’ll do whatever needs doing, I’m told I’ll have proofer two’s final fixes but I won’t have time to do them before rehearsal at one. So, we’ll rehearse and I’ll be home by two-thirty and begin them then. Once again, I’ll be entering them on three different documents – the two design documents because I’m not sure which I’ll be sending in and the manuscript because I want that updated and correct. But I may not finish because I have to attend an opening night and will have to leave here no later than seven. I’ll come right home after but can’t be up late because she of the Evil Eye comes early in the morning.
Tomorrow is another rehearsal, then Sunday can be a ME day. Next week is rehearsals, run-throughs, and tech. Not sure how all that’s going to work, but I suppose I’ll find out.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, be up by eleven, do whatever needs doing, enter fixes, rehearse, eat, enter fixes, attend an opening night, enter fixes, with no time to watch, listen, and relax. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Friday – what is currently in your CD player and your DVD/Blu and Ray/streaming players? I’ll start – who knows? Your turn. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, happy in the knowledge that imitation is the sincerest form of imitation.