Well, dear readers, we had us an Oscar Bash last night here at haineshisway.com and it was a doozy (yzood, spelled backwards), one of our best and we’ve had some great ones. The result was not only an amazingly entertaining evening of postings (a lot more entertaining than the Oscar show itself), but our fifth highest posting day ever, with close to 1400 postings, forty-seven plus pages’ worth. That is a partay, dear readers. As to the Oscar broadcast, I’m afraid I didn’t care for it. I thought it was long, mostly unfunny, filled with an unnecessary “theme” (heroes) and endless montages to that theme, hopelessly unfunny bits in the audience, some truly horrible musical interludes, and some appearances that were truly shocking and not in a good way – Kim Novak and Goldie Hawn. What these two women have done to themselves in the name of vanity is shocking and they are a textbook example of what’s wrong in our culture. June Squibb is eight-eight years old and looks better than they do because – she hasn’t done anything but age naturally. Horrifying.
Ellen De Generes, of whom I’m a big fan, was occasionally funny in her opening monologue, but the Liza bit was just awful and mean-spirited and you could tell Liza was not so happy with it. But after the monologue it just got worse and worse – bad writing, lousy jokes, bits that went on way past their expiry date and just finally running out of steam and basically giving up. They could have used my pal Bruce Vilanch, that’s all I know. It was nice to have Sidney Poitier bring a touch of class to the show. I really didn’t know who half the presenters were. The producers get very cocky but they shouldn’t – it was not well produced or thought out, and the direction was horrible. Like anything, these things have to have a point and this had none. It just rambled and ambled along for three-and-a-half long hours. The nominated songs were, as they have been for years, truly unmemorable and irritating. The Happy song was three minutes of nothingness with some sprightly hip-hop dancing (mercifully not choreographed by Rob Ashford), with banal lyrics and not much of a tune. The U2 song was horrible, and the song from Her is one of the worst things I’ve ever heard and that whispery singer was like fingernails on a blackboard. The Frozen song, which won, I had heard was one of the greats, a real throwback to Menken and Ashman – not for me it wasn’t. It was a pop wannabe with awkward lyrics and a tune that just didn’t have much tune to it – and no ending. I’m sure it works fine in the film, but a great song should live outside the film – you know, like Moon River and Days of Wine and Roses and Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing and High Hopes and so many others.
But the nadir of the evening was something called Pink doing the most inept rendition of Over the Rainbow ever. I gather this person is some kind of pop star, but the processed cheese voice and phrasing that was so idiotic that it beggared belief, breathing between o and ver and worse – I mean a singer should understand the lyric she’s singing, that would seem pretty basic, and you don’t breathe in the middle of a two-syllable word – it’s incompetent and stupid and she did it all throughout the song. If that’s great singing, leave me out. Bette Midler was lots better, but her song, which followed the death montage, was out of place and without point. And then there was John Travolta pronouncing Idina Menzel’s name as Adele Dazeem. Part of me thinks that since Ellen had been mangling so many names throughout the evening that someone told him to do that on purpose so that she could correct it when she came back but still mispronouncing it, which she did. Who knows, but whatever it was, shame on all concerned. I had no issue with any of the winners and was only sad that Philomena, for me the best film of the year, was completely overlooked in every category. No, it wasn’t flashy or show-off or filled with yelling and histrionics – it was just a beautifully written and directed and acted film – flawless, really.
And that’s my Oscar report. Prior to that, I’d slept nine glorious hours. Then I got up, did some work on the computer, and then got ready for our stumble-through. Everyone arrived and we began. It was quite a good stumble-through, with only two teeny-tiny lyric problems. Everyone did beautifully and I think it’s going to be a very good show. The order worked really well, too.
After that, Jenna, her mom and I went to Hugo’s and had some dinner. I had a small Caesar salad and pasta papa and it was great. Then I came home and finished watching the final ten minutes of Witness, which, as I said yesterday, I absolutely love. I got word that the final performance of Pure Imagination was fine and that the piano sub did a good job covering for Lloyd. However, it was hardly the sold out show we’d been told it was – less than half a house. I wish they’d listened to me and let us close the night before, but alas they did not. Then it was time for the Oscar festivities and our partay.
Today, I shall hopefully arise after a good night’s beauty sleep. I have liner notes to write, banking to do, but otherwise I’m just relaxing and taking it easy and not talking, as I have to sing in tonight’s show. Then we have our sound check, then it’s the show. After, some of us will go out to eat. I will, of course, have a full report.
Tomorrow we may or may not have a work session with Sandy and Lanny – Lanny’s flight in was delayed so it will depend on when he gets in. In the evening I have a final casting session for the LACC students. Wednesday I have a lunch appointment, then a meeting after that, Thursday will be a work session with Sandy and Lanny, and then I have to see a show over the weekend and finish casting the April Kritzerland show and decide on its songs.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, write, bank, hopefully pick up packages, relax, do a sound check and do a show. Today’s topic of discussion: Tell us what you thought of the Oscars – spare nothing – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst I hit the road to dreamland, happy we had our fifth highest posting day ever thanks to you dear readers.