We have a Thanksgiving Dinner that would send BK on a rant to end all rants (witness the "Boca Burger incident" of last year 
). We have Tofurkey and an excellent turkey-like roast made of (I kid you not) mushroom fungus made by Quorn. Mmmmmm.....doesn't that sound appetizing? Topped off by DS Betsy's incredibly wonderful apple pie.
DR JMK, it sounds like the "Health Food Man" song from BABES IN TOYLAND, which no one knows:
JOHN JOHNSON WAS A MAN WHO HAD
A VERY TIRED DIGESTION
THEREFORE, HIS MEALS TO JOHNSON WER
AN INTERESTING QUESTION.
HE PONDERED LONG, HE PONDERED DEEP,
AND CAME TO THE CONCLUSION
THE FOOD THAT COMMON MORTALS EAT
IS WHOLLY A DELUSION
AND SO HIS GOLD HE FREELY SPENT—
FOR HE WAS VERY WEALTHY,
ON EVERY SORT AND KIND OF FOOD
THEY ADVERTISE AS HEALTHY.
THEN EVERY MORN ON ALMOST CORN,
HIS BREAKFAST HE WOULD MAKE
A PLATTER NEAT OF NEARLY WHEAT
FOR LUNCHEON HE WOULD TAKE
HE ON THE BRAIN HAD OAT-O-GRAIN
AND COUNTED LOST THE DAY
IF HE SHOULD FAIL TO EAT A BALE
OF EXPURGATED HAY!
WHEN ANYONE TALKED FOOD TO HIM,
JOHN JOHNSON GREW EXCITED
HE SAID ALL BUTCHERS OUGHT TO BE
ARRESTED AND INDICTED
HE NEVER TOUCHED A STEAK OR CHOP,
A FACT OF WHICH HE BOASTED
AND WHEN JOHN JOHSON SPOKE OF BEEF
THE BEEF WAS ALWAYS ROASTED
AGAINST ALL LAMB, AND HAM, AND JAM,
HIS ELOQUENCE WAS TIDAL,
HE SAID DESSERT WAS SUDDEN DEATH
AND SOUP WAS SUICIDAL!
HE DINED, ‘TIS SAID, ON BREADLESS BREAD,
IT’S NAME MY MIND ESCAPES,
EACH EVENING LATE HE GORGED A PLATE
OF SEMI-SAWDUST GRAPES,
HE ATE THESE THINGS FOR SEVEN WEEKS,
THE FACT CAN’T BE DENIED.
HIS HEALTH GREW BETTER TILL ONE DAY
HE OF STARVATION DIED!
