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Author Topic: COMEDY TODAY  (Read 70582 times)

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singdaw

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #60 on: September 29, 2008, 09:05:33 AM »

The gray "t-shirt" dress thingy

And that's a technical fashion term.  I heard it on TV.
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JoseSPiano

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #61 on: September 29, 2008, 09:06:55 AM »

...And I finally got a hold of my Mom this morning.  It turns out she was having a reunion this past weekend with some of her nursing school classmates from the Philippines.  I happened to reach her just as she and my father were getting ready to leave Atlantic City this morning.  ;)
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JoseSPiano

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #62 on: September 29, 2008, 09:07:42 AM »

WOW!

Wachovia is being taken over by CitiGroup (too)?!?!?!?!?!?
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singdaw

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #63 on: September 29, 2008, 09:09:22 AM »

In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light.

There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.
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singdaw

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #64 on: September 29, 2008, 09:11:11 AM »

DR JoseSPiano, if I had been online last night when you posted about not being able to reach any of your family, I would have asked you if any of them had caller ID.    :)
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JoseSPiano

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #65 on: September 29, 2008, 09:11:15 AM »

Ooops...

Even the Opening Bell of the New York Stock Exchange failed to ring this morning!
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elmore3003

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #66 on: September 29, 2008, 09:11:53 AM »

Jrand, do you mind if I post that joke on All that Chat?

Don't use my name.  i've been banned. O course, I have no idea for how long.
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"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats" - Albert Schweitzer

MBarnum

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #67 on: September 29, 2008, 09:12:21 AM »

Did anybody else love last night's TAR???


I did! Some fun teams!!
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elmore3003

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #68 on: September 29, 2008, 09:12:56 AM »



What's the difference between a Snowman and a Snow-woman?



Snow balls


Why are gipsies such noisy lovers?

Crystal balls.
« Last Edit: September 29, 2008, 09:13:10 AM by elmore3003 »
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"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats" - Albert Schweitzer

singdaw

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #69 on: September 29, 2008, 09:14:03 AM »

Steven Spielberg was discussing his new project - an action docudrama about famous composers starring top movie stars.

Sylvester Stallone, Steven Seagal, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger were all present.

Spielberg strongly desired the box office 'oomph' of these superstars, so he was prepared to allow them to select whatever composers they would portray, as long as they were very famous.

"Well," started Stallone, "I've always admired Mozart. I would love to play him."

"Chopin has always been my favorite, and my image would improve if people saw me playing the piano" said Willis. "I'll play him."

"I've always been partial to Strauss and his waltzes," said Seagal. "I'd like to play him."

Spielberg was very pleased with these choices. "Sounds splendid."

Then, looking at Schwarzenegger, he asked, "Who do you want to be, Arnold?"

So Arnold says,



"I'll be Bach."
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S. Woody White

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #70 on: September 29, 2008, 09:14:23 AM »

And one of my favorite "you have to think about it and say it out loud" jokes from Johnny Carson...



-What's the difference between a "vitamin" and a "hormone"?





-You can't make a "vita" "min".

Time to invoke a long-standing HHW rule!

There will be no mone-ing!!!
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There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea's asleep, and the rivers dream; people made of smoke and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there's injustice, somewhere else the tea's getting cold. Come on, Ace. We've got work to do.

elmore3003

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #71 on: September 29, 2008, 09:14:39 AM »

I did! Some fun teams!!

Did you see my friend Nick Spangler?
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singdaw

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #72 on: September 29, 2008, 09:15:57 AM »

I'll have to look back at bk's notes to see if we were just supposed to post jokes, or if they were supposed to be good or bad jokes.
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JMK

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #73 on: September 29, 2008, 09:16:50 AM »

In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light.

There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.

Which brings to mind these new Chuck Norris jokes that the kids are into:

G-d said, Let there be light.  Chuck Norris said, Say please!

and/or:

Chuck Norris counted to infinity.  Twice.


The above jokes must be said in a Chuck Norris voice and with a Chuck Norris scowl for maximum comedic effect.
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JMK

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #74 on: September 29, 2008, 09:17:17 AM »

BK, don't snippify me--I'm only the messenger.  As I said, I was simply passing along what Mr. Harris told me.
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singdaw

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #75 on: September 29, 2008, 09:17:56 AM »

DR elmore3003 -

So I'm guessing someone didn't like being called an inflated toad??
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elmore3003

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #76 on: September 29, 2008, 09:17:58 AM »

A long telephonic conversation kept me inside. Now it's time to take a walk to Lincoln Center.

Sir W.S. Gilbert, when he and the D'Oyly Carte company brought HMS PINAFORE to New York, was at a dinner party where the lady next to him started talking about composers. Her favorite was BAYCH.

"I adore Baych's music," she told him. "Has he written anything lately?"

"Madame," replied Sir william Schwenck Gilbert, "dear Baych is decomposing."
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"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats" - Albert Schweitzer

MBarnum

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #77 on: September 29, 2008, 09:18:40 AM »

Did you see my friend Nick Spangler?


Yes. He has beautiful eyes.

Did you watch?
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DearReaderLaura

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #78 on: September 29, 2008, 09:19:22 AM »

Inflated frog?

Someone is going to have to explain that to me. Is it dirty?
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elmore3003

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #79 on: September 29, 2008, 09:19:35 AM »

DR elmore3003 -

So I'm guessing someone didn't like being called an inflated toad??

writerkev had no problems making fun of Seth!
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DearReaderLaura

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #80 on: September 29, 2008, 09:20:10 AM »

You should have called him a chinchy bassa.
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elmore3003

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #81 on: September 29, 2008, 09:21:09 AM »

Inflated frog?

Someone is going to have to explain that to me. Is it dirty?

It's a fable by Aesop: a frog became so egomaniacal that he decided he could be a bull. So he kept inflating himself until he exploded. It's the story of the career of the Fat Conductor of Limited Talent and Limitless Ego.
« Last Edit: September 29, 2008, 09:22:01 AM by elmore3003 »
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DearReaderLaura

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #82 on: September 29, 2008, 09:21:32 AM »

I have taken to using "fathead minnow" lately. I think it is quite insulting.
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DearReaderLaura

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #83 on: September 29, 2008, 09:22:20 AM »

Ah. Ok. Thank you.

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Ginny

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #84 on: September 29, 2008, 09:24:13 AM »

Off to do some errands - bye for now!
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Ron Pulliam

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #85 on: September 29, 2008, 09:27:52 AM »

I'm listening to the great OBC of NINE, and I already am fearful of what Rob Marshall will do to the film.

Well brace yourself.  It will be cinematic rather than "the stage production".  It may or may not include all the numbers.  It may or may not have new numbers.

That's all given, of course, but being "fearful" will have an impact of nothing other than a buildup of negative anticipation.

Look forward to it and accept that it is not an effort to replicate the Broadway production.  That way, maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised.  If not, you'll not have had your worst fears realized.

 ;)



« Last Edit: September 29, 2008, 09:30:11 AM by Ron Pulliam »
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S. Woody White

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #86 on: September 29, 2008, 09:31:13 AM »

This is scary.  I'm totally in agreement with Pulliam.
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Charles Pogue

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #87 on: September 29, 2008, 09:35:46 AM »

A man came up to me and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks; so I bit him!
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Jrand74

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #88 on: September 29, 2008, 09:36:58 AM »

Jrand, do you mind if I post that joke on All that Chat?

BE my guest, DR FJL.

But the first time I heard it, as DR JOSE suggests, the show in question was MY FAIR LADY.  ;D
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....it has an undertaste.....

bk

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Re:COMEDY TODAY
« Reply #89 on: September 29, 2008, 09:37:02 AM »

They leave the most specious posts up at ATC (a place I do not frequent anymore, unless I just glance to see what a new show's reviews are like), and ban people who respond to them in kind.  Amazing.
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