Well, dear readers, I am sitting here at my handy-dandy laptop, relaxed, fit-as-a-fiddle or at least a bass trombone, and enjoying this Thanksgiving weekend, as I hope you are. Yesterday was another lazy day, although I ended up writing six pages of what I hope will be my first non-fiction book. Starting a book is always such a daunting prospect, and I’m finding this more daunting than my fiction work. In fiction, you can create your world as you go, introduce characters as you please, make them however you like and let the whole thing just flow from your very essence. I love that process and I love just letting whatever comes out come out. With non-fiction it’s entirely different – everything you’re writing about is real, you have to follow the real events and the real people – it’s just a whole different style. I’m just starting on this journey and trying to feel my way. Have you ever felt your way? Was your way upset about being felt? Even in non-fiction one must have a writing voice, and in this particular book, which isn’t necessarily going to be all that amusing, I’m trying to find the balance. But, I’m just mushing on because when it presents itself to me, I’ll go back and do touch-ups to make it all conform. That said, I’m already having fun. At some point in the next three weeks I shall also start writing my next novel, also a daunting prospect, and also completely different than the Kritzer books or Writer’s Block. But I know you dear readers shall all keep me sane during the whole shebang of doing two books concurrently. Why do them that way, you might ask, and I might tell you because why shouldn’t I tell you? Because I enjoy being in two different worlds at the same time. All during the writing of Kritzerland I was also doing the stage adaptation of Nudie Musical and the bible of the Meltz and Ernest project that never came to pass. It was so much fun – working on Kritzerland in the morning, then taking a break, then doing a bit of Nudie, taking a break, then doing a bit of Meltz and Ernest. During the writing of Kritzer Time I was also working on two television programs, writing in that world every day. I suppose if it proves to be problematic, I’ll just finish the non-fiction book first, but I think I’m going to have fun doing both – because I’ll need a creative break from the non-fiction book, I’ll need to exercise my fiction writing voice, too. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?
Last night I watched a DVD entitled De-Lovely. I’d heard mixed things about the film, mostly negative, but I did know some people liked it. Sadly, I’m not one of those people. In fact, it was entirely an excruciating film to watch. I will say I had little hope for it as I’ve never liked an Irwin Winkler film before. He was a fine producer, but as a director he’s simply ponderous and uninteresting, at least to me. It went south for me instantly with the dreadful Jonathan Pryce framing device. So boring, so trite and so meaningless. Just tell me the damn story, that’s all I want. Tell me about Cole Porter, his roots, his life, his joy, his sorrow. Here, in a screenplay written by Jay Cocks, a former critic for Time Magazine (he should stay a critic), we know nothing about anyone except in the broadest strokes. Scenes repeat themselves endlessly, and every two minutes we get another travesty of an arrangement and performance of a Cole Porter song. There is not one note of verisimilitude in the entire film, starting with the film being shot in England (which they go out of their way to leave off the end credits). How do we know it was shot in England? Well, for starters, all the supporting players are Brits doing bad American accents. Then, whenever we’re in a theater, it looks nothing like a theater on Broadway would have looked like in the various periods the film is set in. We won’t even go into the ridiculous numbers that are supposed to be from shows. I mean, if you’re going to tell the Cole Porter story then tell the Cole Porter story – don’t tart it up with pop singers and idiotic arrangements just to pander to the youth crowd – it didn’t work anyway, the youth crowd could have cared less about the film. In fact, most crowds could have cared less about the film. When they started the Blow, Gabriel, Blow number and the first shot in the number was of feet I wanted to hurl my popcorn bowl through the TV screen. Mr. Kevin Kline is fine as Mr. Porter – not great, not terrible. Ashley Judd is, well, let’s just say I’m not a fan. The supporting cast is totally forgettable. Want to be a successful director? Learn how to cast your film. The production design of the film has been praised by pretty much everyone, but I didn’t like it because there were too many weirdnesses. This movie actually made me appreciate Night and Day with Cary Grant and that is no mean feat. There are two commentary tracks on the DVD, neither of which you could pay me to listen to. There are several featurettes and two “Anatomy of a Scene” things. I don’t know when that became popular, but they really ought to stop it because it’s nauseating.
What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because frankly this section is so long it’s not de-lovely it’s de-lengthy.
See, I have nothing left to write about. I suppose we could all wish sometimes dear reader divarobbie a haineshisway.com happy birthday, but who knows whether he’ll be around to read it. In case he is, however, let’s all wish him the best of birthdays. On the count of three: One, two, three: THE BEST OF BIRTHDAYS TO SOMETIMES DEAR READER DIVAROBBIE WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE AROUND TO READ IT!!!
Today I shall be sending out two mass e-mails – one for the LA signings and one for the NY signing. I do hope some of you hainsies/kimlets on both coasts can make the signings because they will simply be too too.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must relax, I must do errands, I must drive about in my motor car, and I must watch more DVDs. Today’s topic of discussion: What are your favorite Cole Porter songs and what are your favorite renditions of same. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we? If we do, it will be ever so de-lovely. If we don’t there will be ever so much de-bitch-slapping.