I have to say, I've been struggling with what I read in yesterday's posts about today's "generation of young people" and as polite a conversation it was, it hurt me. Because it is one thing to say "except for you" or "except for a few" because when you are talking about this generation, you are not only talking about me, but about the majority of my friends and many of my family members.
Adolescents and young adults make mistakes, that is well documented, and it is part of the process of growing up. And yes, the kinds of mistakes that they make have changed over time, but in my eyes, that does not make them worse. I can't even imagine what it is I will be ranting about 20 or 30 years from now.
And I do have frequent contact with this generation. I talk to them on the phones at GMHC when they have called feeling anxious or scared and need some support. I see them in the testing center, responsibly checking their HIV status and holding the hands of their friends and partners. I met some very special ones this summer who had given up their spring break to come volunteer. I acted as a therapist to one who was angry and hostile after having been pounded down by years of abuse and indifference who attempted to reach out to others. I sat in an auditorium with hundred of them last week who accepted their diplomas and were about to set of on an underpaid and under-respected career of helping others because it is what they felt they needed to do.
When I see someone of "that generation" on the street, yakking on their cellphone, having a loud conversation with a friend with on apparent regard for others, or in any other way acting "inappropriate or rude" I see a veneer. I see someone adrift who is trying very hard in this sometimes cruel and often uncertain world, to present a picture of confidence and sureness when they feel something very different inside. I think that to some degree, we all do that. It's just that our years of experience have taught us to do it in a more mature way.
And maybe don't apply that "exception" to me. I still do crazy things from time to time, I have a thong or two in my underwear drawer, and I know that my audacious gum cracking and obsessive use of the word "um" drives my mother and those of her generation crazy. But I think that deep down inside, for those who bother to get to know me, I am a pretty great person. And I like to think that the same applies to most in my generation. We're all just struggling to make our way.