Yes, it's the ultimate sacrilege. I can hear BK screaming
NO! now. But I was asked to edit The Country's in the Very Best of Hands and to add a contemporary verse. (The performers complained the song is way too long.) So, brace yourself.
The Country's in the Very Best of HandsLyric: Johnny Mercer
Music: Gene DePaul
The country's in the very best of hands
The best of hands, the best of hands
The Treas'ry says the National Debt is climbing to the sky
And Government expenditures have never been so high
It makes a fella get a gleam of pride within his eye
To see how economy expands
The country's in the very best of hands
The country's in the very best of hands
The best of hands, the best of hands
You ought to hear the Senate when they're drawing up a bill
Whereas's and to wit's are crowded in each codicil
Such legal terminology would give your heart a thrill
There's phrases there that no one understands
The country's in the very best of hands
"I cannot tell a lie" is what George Washington once preached
It's like a sacred covenant that never can be breached
So presidents caught lying should be instantly impeached
It's honesty the populace demands
The country's in the very best of hands
Us voters is connected to the nominee
The nominee's connected to the treasury
When he ain't connected to the treasury
He sits around on his thighbones.
They sits around till they starts to snore
Jumps up and hollers "I has the floor!"
Then sits right down where they sat before
Up there they calls 'em their thigh bones
Dem bones, dem bones gonna rise again
Gonna tax us up to our eyes again
While the Budget doubles in size again
While they sets around on their thighbones
The country's in the very best of hands
The best of hands, the best of hands
The money that they taxes us is known as Revenues
They compounds the collaterals, subtracts the residues
Don't worry 'bout the principal and int'rest that accrues
They're shipping all that stuff to foreign lands
The country's in the very best of hands
And Bonne ANNiversaire, Ann!
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