I am sure that Jane will consider this story to be a sign from above. After work, I stopped by the supermarket, bravely fighting my way through all of the Thanksgiving shoppers. When I got home, I turned into the driveway, but half way up the hill I had to stop. Standing in the middle of the driveway, glaring at me, was a huge "live" turkey. I flashed my lights, I honked the horn, I rattled the bag of stuffing -- Nothing! It continued to advance on my car. Finally I backed out into the street and went up the back way. After I parked my car, I went over to the driveway where the turkey was still standing guard, this time blocking one of my neighbors from leaving the complex. My neighbor said that the damn bird had been wandering around all day and that she had already called the Humane Society. They told her that a turkey is a wild bird, and they could do nothing about it. I went in the house and called the Zoo, which is only a block and a half from my house. According to the Zoo, they were aware of the bird, it didn't belong to them, and they didn't plan to do anything about it.
I think I may eat nothing but salad on Thursday.