Topic: THE REAL A (Read 21364 times)

bk · « **on:** March 03, 2009, 12:38:16 AM »

Well, you've read the notes, the notes were real, and now it is time for you to post until The Real Cows come home.

bk · « **Reply #1 on:** March 03, 2009, 12:38:55 AM »

And the word of the day is: INCARNADINE!

bk · « **Reply #2 on:** March 03, 2009, 12:39:35 AM »

Welcome five GUESTS.

bk · « **Reply #3 on:** March 03, 2009, 12:39:48 AM »

No one in the jernt but me.

bk · « **Reply #4 on:** March 03, 2009, 12:55:53 AM »

An interesting excerpt from The Real A's column of December 22, 1997:

The Real A Discovers eBay

Hello. My name is The Real A and I'm a collect-aholic (Hello, Real A). I love to collect. Movie posters, CDs, laserdiscs, first editions (my true passion), sheet music, things I used to have when I was a child, anything and everything. There is simply no stopping me. I get worse and worse.

So, what I did not need was to discover the on-line auction site called eBay. More addicting than chat rooms (yes, even The Hot Tub room pales in comparison to eBay). At this site, there are daily auctions for books, toys, magazines, posters, art, you name it, there's an auction. They will auction anything at the drop of a hat. In fact, they will auction the hat. So, now every night when I get home, I go visit eBay and bid on totally useless things. Usually there are bargains to be found, and I have won some totally useless things at really good prices! Like a cap pistol from the 50s TV program Tightrope, which starred Michael "Touch" Connors (of Mannix fame). Did I need this cap pistol? Sure, like I need a hernia. But the thrill of winning is always exhilarating. I also won a 1950 Viewmaster (with reels). What I will do with a 1950 Viewmaster (with reels) is another story. I also won a set of Pez machines, which are apparently hard to find (these are five machines with M-G-M cartoon heads). I don't really collect Pez machines (I'm amused by them, but I don't have to have them), but, there they were, I bid on them, and I won. You'd be surprised how many people bid on Pez machines. There is a whole Pez machine subculture, which is way more than I need to know. Can you imagine being a Pez-aholic? I can't, and yet here I am with five hard to find Pez machines. Perhaps I'll auction them. I can't tell you what else I've won yet, as the other things I've bid on have not closed yet. But I can assure you that they are just as stupid and useless as the items that I have won. If you'd like to sample eBay, you may go directly to their website (after finishing this column, of course). Please keep me apprised if you win anything. And never bid on anything I'm bidding on. Their URL is: www.ebay.com.

bk · « **Reply #5 on:** March 03, 2009, 01:05:00 AM »

Obviously by July 26, 2000 I'd long since found my column voice:

Well, dear readers, I am making up for lost time with another brand spanking new handy-dandy column. Have you ever made up for lost time? I, for example, am making up for lost time, using a nice blue eye shadow and some subtle lip-gloss, with just a hint of rouge. Why I feel I should make up for lost time when lost time just shows up without any makeup whatsoever, not even eyeliner, is beyond me. And yet, here I am, making up for lost time. I look quite lovely, though, so there you are. I have returned from yet another trip to New York, New York and I have seen yet more plays and musicals which I will discuss ad nauseum later in the column. But for now, let us light our fireworks and sing patriotic songs like Yes, We Have No Bananas because it is the fourth of July weekend. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, it is the weekend of July 4th, even though July 4th appears nowhere in this weekend. This July 4th weekend is just a bit of poetic license, isn't it? My driver's license is also poetic - and to prove it here's a copy of it:

The Real A
Will drive today
Don't get in the way
Or there'll be hell to pay.

Wasn't that a poetic license? What the hell am I talking about? Oh, yes, the 4th of July weekend which has no July 4th. Being the 4th of July weekend, I hope all of you will be celebrating. I hope we will light our sparklers, shoot off our fireworks, roast our weenies, and frolic. Above all, frolic (cilorf, spelled backwards). One can never frolic enough. However, if one grows tired of frolicking one can always cavort, for a change of pace. I have been feeling very stressed lately (so much to do, so little time, especially for frolicking or cavorting). What I like to do if I'm feeling stressed is eat many and varied desserts. Yes, desserts, dear readers, they are the antidote to being stressed. After all, what is "stressed" but "desserts" spelled backwards? Speaking of desserts and the 4th of July weekend, there's one more celebration that I haven't mentioned yet. What is that celebration you might ask and I might tell you because frankly I don't want you being stressed so that you have to eat many and varied desserts and then put on weight which will just make you more stressed and whoa Nellie if this hasn't turned into one of those ungainly run-on sentences where the words just tumble one after another willy-nilly and also nilly-willy with no end in sight and if I can't find a way to stop this whole column could turn into one long run-on sentence and then where would we be that's what I'd like to know and actually I do know because I am an expert on run-on sentences and there is only one way to stop them and that's by putting on the run-on sentence brakes which I fully intend to do right about now. Whew. Do you know what, dear readers? My brilliant handy-dandy computer just told me I wrote a run-on sentence. What the hell was I talking about? Oh, yes, the 4th of July weekend and the other event that was cause for celebration. And that event, dear readers, was the actual birthday of the actual Mr. Mark Bakalor. Yes, Mr. Mark Bakalor is no longer the sprig of a twig of a youth that he was. He is now an adult. Being an adult, he is also now living in his very own home, sans parents. He can now do impulsive things like throwing strawberries at the wall without fear of parental reprisal. Or is it reprisal parental? No matter, fling those strawberries against the wall he can and there is no one to say "boo" to him about it, unless someone just happens to show up at his door saying "boo" which would be a hell of a coincidence, flinging strawberry-wise. You know, there is a word we haven't used in quite awhile, but I feel we should use it now because it so encapsulates and captures the entire paragraph that I've just written. And that word is drivel, dear readers. Drivel, pure and simple. Every word, every sentence, drivel personified. In any case, perhaps the next paragraph will be better - perhaps the next paragraph will provide us with some intellectual stimuli or stimulus or whatever the hell stim it is.

bk · « **Reply #6 on:** March 03, 2009, 01:25:43 AM »

Aha - the first use of "Well, dear readers" as the opener to the column happened on February 23, 1998. I did not repeat it the following week, but did the week after. Interestingly, I used it on and off for quite a while. A few weeks after the introduction of that phrase, was the first use of "fershluganah" by The Real A.

bk · « **Reply #7 on:** March 03, 2009, 01:30:49 AM »

Where in tarnation IS everyone? You'd think it was one-thirty in the morning or something.

DAW · « **Reply #8 on:** March 03, 2009, 01:54:57 AM »

This trip down memory lane has been quite fun.

DAW · « **Reply #9 on:** March 03, 2009, 01:55:54 AM »

DAW · « **Reply #10 on:** March 03, 2009, 02:05:08 AM »

Going out now to walk the dog. It is 13 here; with the wind chill it feels like -5. $:-\$

Ben · « **Reply #11 on:** March 03, 2009, 02:53:01 AM »

So that's why Guys and Dolls has not appeared on TDF, they are playing at or near capacity.

I hope, after reading all the reviews, that will not be the case and I can score a ticket soon.

Michael · « **Reply #12 on:** March 03, 2009, 04:50:23 AM »

A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO OUR MOST ERRANT AND TRUANT DEAR READER, MISS ADRIANA PATTI!!![/size]

Michael · « **Reply #13 on:** March 03, 2009, 04:53:30 AM »

Going back 20 years or so and DR Matt Hough will remember this. We were both on BULLETIN boards. And we frequented one called Greasepaint. I don't think I had a proper internet connection for several years.

FJL · « **Reply #14 on:** March 03, 2009, 05:08:46 AM »

Happy happy birthday to dear Adriana

DAW · « **Reply #15 on:** March 03, 2009, 05:15:13 AM »

OK. I have to tell you, I just don't have a mind for geneaology. My mind just glazes over when I try to contemplate classifying relationships. I just can't do it.

So the relative that is visiting from Minnesota is the wife of my DH's younger brother. If she were my DH's sister, I would call her my sister-in-law. But since she is related to his family by marriage, what is her relationship to me, exactly?

Oy.

[ps: she is a dear and I'm nothing less than delighted that she is here.

]

DAW · « **Reply #16 on:** March 03, 2009, 05:25:11 AM »

Quote from: DAW on March 03, 2009, 05:15:13 AM

she is a dear

DAW · « **Reply #17 on:** March 03, 2009, 05:33:13 AM »

Harvey Fierstein's letter to our President

elmore3003 · « **Reply #18 on:** March 03, 2009, 05:38:27 AM »

Good morning, all! It's not as chilly in the apartment as I thought it would be this morning, but I do need to put on a pair of socks.

Today, I've got everything I did not get to yesterday still waiting for me, and this afternoon I need to go over a vocal arrangement with a conductor friend who needs a tutoral on part writing. I'm currently eating my oatmeal and listening to the incidental music to RASHOMON.

!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy Birthday Wishes to DR Adriana !!!!!!!!!!!

Laura · « **Reply #19 on:** March 03, 2009, 05:45:22 AM »

Just call her your sister-in-law, DAW.

Laura · « **Reply #20 on:** March 03, 2009, 05:45:48 AM »

Happy Happy Birthday to DR Adrianna!!!!

Dan (the Man) · « **Reply #21 on:** March 03, 2009, 05:49:03 AM »

! ! ! ! ! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DR ADRIANA PATTI ! ! ! ! !

DAW · « **Reply #22 on:** March 03, 2009, 05:58:10 AM »

Thank you, Laura DR. Always so sensible.

DAW · « **Reply #23 on:** March 03, 2009, 05:58:45 AM »

"Te adoro, Anton."

Dan (the Man) · « **Reply #24 on:** March 03, 2009, 06:14:13 AM »

TOD:

My first internet connection was through Prodigy (about '94 or '95) and there was a theatre bulletin/message board kind of thing going on there that I would post on. I don't remember ever really getting to know anyone else on there. I quickly began to realize that it was mostly kids who wanted to talk about nothing else but LES MIZ or PHANTOM. I kept wondering--where were the adults?

Eventually, I found my way over to the newsgroups on UserNet and rec.arts.theatre.musicals. For the first four or five years it was a wonderful place with a wide variety of contributors with discussions on old and new shows that ranged from the academic to the silly. I think during this time I first met DRs Ron Pullium, td and Dan-In-Toronto.

vixmom · « **Reply #25 on:** March 03, 2009, 06:19:06 AM »

Happy Birthday to Adrianna Patti

vixmom · « **Reply #26 on:** March 03, 2009, 06:19:49 AM »

School is back in session - no delayed opening in our district

vixmom · « **Reply #27 on:** March 03, 2009, 06:22:47 AM »

TOD:

Back when the Vixter was 3, we got our first computer, I joined a chat room for mothers of 3 year old kids and kept up with it for a few years. It eventully petered out by time the kids were 7 or 8

This is the only other site I have ever regularly read or posted to

vixmom · « **Reply #28 on:** March 03, 2009, 06:24:48 AM »

I caught up on yesterday. I am very disheartened by Danise's news. I wish there was something I could do to help.

~~~~~HOUSE REPAIR VIBES FOR DEAR DANISE~~~~~~

vixmom · « **Reply #29 on:** March 03, 2009, 06:26:32 AM »

I feel a little chilly today although the thermostat says it is 70 degrees in the house

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Author Topic: THE REAL A (Read 21364 times)

DAW

DAW

DAW

Ben

FJL

DAW

DAW

DAW

DAW

DAW